So here is the thing about knitting that is both strange, upsetting, frustrating and wonderful all at the same time.
Knitting is an entire leap of faith.
You have be very trusting as a knitter as well as remain entirely open to the distinct possibility that your time and materials may completely backfire on you….
You have to allow yourself to swear like a sailor ever so often. However when things get out of hand you must heed your mother’s advice and walk away from said project…or put it in the naughty corner for awhile…until the swearing is curbed….and you decide you want to look at that project again.
This leads me to projects 1, 2, and 3….all of which have been very very naughty.
Project #1 started well over a year ago when I found this yarn that I just loved. The color was right, the weight was just perfect for the pattern…..so off I went happily knitting a sweater for myself.
The project went well, and everything seemed great….until I tried it on….and I was swimming in knitted horribleness. It was WAAAAAAAAY too big in the weirdest spot….under my armpits (hmmmmm that isn’t really where I need extra space thank goodness).
So I put the sweater in the blankety blank naughty corner for all of the summer so I could think about what to do.
Then I ripped it all out and started a different sweater……
And about 1/4 of the way in I realized I hated it….
So out we ripped again….
Then I started magic number 3….which as luck would have it is my most favorite thing I have knitted this winter and I wear it all the time!
Project number 2 has to deal with felting.
Felting, as a general rule, is not something knitters hope to achieve as many times it happens accidentally….like your favorite sweater tossed haphazardly into a hot washer and comes out as Barbie wear.
California sissy put in a request for a new pair of slippers for her birthday. I had knit her a pair several years ago which she wore with wild abandon and had happily worn them out. (Believe it or not, this makes knitters very very happy. To hear someone has used something so much until it plum wore out is a sign of love and affection.)
So off I started on these slippers, which are now referred to as those “blasted blankety blank %^$# slippers”.
The premise is you knit these gargantuan slippers and then you wash them in hot water until they magically felt to the correct size.
What actually happened is I used some blankety blank yarn that I received from a co-worker and the top of the slipper felted at a completely different rate than the bottom. The bottom resembled a hotdog, the top was large enough for a yeti.
So I started over again
And I proceeded to knit the wrong blankety blank size…so they were still too big. (on the plus side I do now have one slipper done for myself….the down side is I would have to knit another one of these blankety blank slippers and right now I never want to see them again)
I finally knit the right size (kind of…one felted up slightly larger than the other) and handed them off to my sissy. Hopefully it is many many years before I need to re-visit that project again.
So this brings me to project #3…..otherwise known as the blankety blank monstrosity of a prayer shawl.
So first it started with this blanket that I knit for my parents last year. I ran out of blankety blank yarn when I was knitting it, so I had to order more. Then when I was done, I had a ton leftover.
So I decided it was the perfect yarn to knit a prayer shawl as it is very soft and squishy as well as very very washable.
And then I decided I was a pattern writer extraordinaire and threw caution to the wind and casted on my project.
In retrospect this was a very very very bad idea.
I decided I wanted to knit the long ways from end to end for a little something different so I casted on 300 stitches….which was about 150 stitches too many…though I didn’t realize that until yesterday.
When it took me over an hour to get one row done, I should have known this was going to be a mistake of epic proportions.
But alas I just kept at it. Then I changed directions to try and make it better….it just directionally shifted the blankety blankness of it all.
This project has stewed in the naughty corner off and on since July. I finally decided enough was enough I just needed to finish it for our shawl meeting later this month.
And then I ran out of blankety blank yarn AGAIN! So I had to order MORE!
This horrible horrible project came off my needles yesterday and the hubby and I had a good laugh over it…as it is just so weird and long we can’t even believe it. The girl said she liked and and could she have it…but alas it is destined for someone at a shelter. (Please note I have creatively edited the picture so you cannot see why this is so weird, but let’s just say one end of this sucker looks like an arrow with a point…when it should be square)